We are unable to steadily hold our attention off its beaten track— this is a fact. Mechanicalness of our psycho-emotional reactions and constant identification of our consciousness with them leaves us no chance to influence our reactions at least partially. In fact, inside us, there is nothing representative of our identities that we present to others; rather there is a repertoire of psycho-physiological response patterns that the mind utilizes to respond to external situations and internal stimuli—all of which happens at lightning speed. It is the outcome of these reactions that we present to others as “ourselves” by saying, “I am in a good mood today,” or “I am nervous,” or “Maybe it’s time to change something in my life.”
Our ego is just the tip of an iceberg, the final scene of the process unfolding in the unconscious part of our beings. The mind uses ego as a tool for the rationalization of contradictions between the mind’s conditioning and desires and brings some unity between them. The purpose of our personalities is to consolidate and secure the consequences of the coexistence of conflicting desires in our minds. Each time one of those desires takes the lead in influencing a person’s mental state and actions, his ego tries to rationalize to itself and others what is going on. In order for the explanation to look credible and convincing, quite often the ego deceives itself and the others. As soon as a new desire takes over and a person’s behavior changes accordingly, his ego puts together another “logical” explanation equally different from what happened in practice, something like, “Well, that’s life.”
In other words, the false-self shaped by the mind is not the one who makes real decisions, and it is not the source or cause of our actions. It merely tries to maintain an ostensible consistency in our actions, but only so much. Any success with that? Think of your acquaintances and you will acknowledge that they act weird quite often—to put it mildly. They don’t see it that way, though, as they always have a “reasonable” justification for their actions. And yes, in their eyes, your life looks just as odd.