I do not think that we can avoid the issue of sexual attraction when it comes to the suppressed desires. It turns into a stumbling rock for many Seekers: some of them follow the ancient advice and their fear of communication with the opposite sex and suppress their desire while others keep up with the latest tendencies of sexual revolution and get into the sects where excessive sexual liberation is the basic practice. Given the fact that all the people are concerned about the sex issue, the Seekers who have started to work with themselves have double concerns in most cases.
I have already written that ancient scriptures should be treated with caution, with account of their creator and target audience. Such works were often written by the monks who had to justify their vows of sexual abstention, so of course they all claim sex is harmful. I can understand this statement: in fact, sex and romantic relations take away lots of energy, which can be used for spiritual practices. However, hundreds of years of sexual suppression, especially in our country in the “platonic” Soviet times, have shifted sex into the mind almost absolutely. There is an opinion that most modern people have never plunged into the depth of the explosion and purification of all the energies caused by the real orgasm.
The evident fact is if there is muscle overtension in the body, the energy will not be able to flow freely. The overtension associated with suppressions of any kind deprives the body of delicate sensitivity while the bans stuck in the mind add the denial of sex and yourself into the sex. Here comes the second extremity: if I have sex (which is allegedly banned), I am a sinner. Therefore, if I am bad, I must go all the way, i.e. become debauched. It is similar to a man who has not been drinking alcohol for a long time: after he throws back a shot, he says to himself, “You see, I have drunk and breached the vow of abstention, so it doesn’t matter anymore.” In the end, he gets rip-roaring drunk.
The Seeker will have to work with the sexual suppression at the level of all three bodies. As for the physical body, it takes the practice of awareness during the foreplay and during the intercourse itself. In the beginning, the desire and arousal will throw the Seeker back into the unconsciousness, but the more he gets aware of his body in ordinary situations, the faster he will manage to keep witnessing in sex. Such witnessing will enable him to find the body tensions connected with the suppressed sexual energy and to change the movement stereotype shaped against the background of these suppressions. In other words, he will be able to get more natural and spontaneous, in fact, more alive, in sex.
When it comes to emotions, it is necessary to handle the fear surrounding the entire sex issue. Women are afraid of men’s aggression while men are afraid of women’s power; both patterns are established in the childhood and leave an imprint on their entire life. The attitude to sex as to something unnatural, animal and dirty is unconsciously transferred from one generation to the next one and turns into a part of the conditionalism. Sex is appealing and terrifying at the same time. It results in the suppressed desire and its companions, fury and sadness. The offensive language usually used by people to express their fury in any situation has a sexual connotation for a good reason. That is why the Seeker will have to consider the fury and sadness associated with the expressions of the suppressed sexual desire.
Then goes the mind. To start with, one must find the denial of and ban on sex inside. After that, it is necessary to work with numerous suppressed desires accumulated since the puberty. If man manages to stop condemning them, it will be easier to express them, so it will be possible to change the internal situation. Observation changes everything, and the sexual desire is no exception. The rules for handling it are the same as the ones for the other desires: something gets actualized, something disappears itself. Of course, it is a summary of the work, which is concurrently done at all three levels in most cases. It is more natural and right. In any case, as long as man continues denying and suppressing his sexuality, he remains psychologically immature and aggressive. It is an accomplished fact.