We cannot hold our attention steadily for a long time beyond the ways it is used to. It is a fact. The mechanical nature of our psychoemotional reactions and the continuous coupling of our consciousness with them deprives us of the ability to influence them in any way. Actually, our personality demonstrated to the people around is not represented inside of us; instead, there is a set of psychophysical processes that enable our mind to react in response to the external situations and internal irritants like a shot. We present the results of these reactions as our personality to the people around by saying “I am in a good mood today”, “I feel anxious” or “Time has come to change something about my life...”
But our ego is just a tip of an iceberg, it is a final expression of what is happening in the unconscious part of our being. The mind uses the ego to rationalize internal contradictions of its conditionalism and desires and make them sort of integral. The vocation of our personality is to case-harden and consolidate the consequences of the contradicting desires existing in our mind. When one of these desires starts dominating again by affecting the man’s state and actions, the ego tries to explain what is happening both to itself and the others. The man’s ego often deceives him and the people around so that this explanation will look credible and convincing. When this desire gives way to another one, and the man’s behavior changes accordingly, the ego finds another “logical” explanation, which is not related to what has actually happened, for instance, “it is not our fault”, “life is life...”
In other words, our false self shaped by the mind is not the real decision maker. It is not the source and cause of our actions. It merely tries to maintain a semblance of the consecutive and logical nature of man’s actions. Does it manage to? Recall you acquaintances and make sure that they behave at least strange pretty often. However, they do not find their actions strange and always have a “reasonable” explanation for their actions. The same way, your life seems somewhat strange to them.